*****
"I simply cannot understand. How could this happen?"
Buffy opened one eye to look at the incredulous gaze of her Watcher, then closed it. She groaned again. She wished that he and the others would *just* go away. Some place. ANY place that was far from her pounding head and queasy stomach. "Go away,Giles."
The Watcher merely glared at his Slayer. "I cannot understand how you three girls managed to get sick over pizza and drinks."
"It was more than just drinks," Willow whispered from beside Buffy. She had *never* in her whole life felt this bad, not even when she was curious at the tender age of ten and guzzled down her Mom's champagne at Rosh Hosanna without her looking. "It was...Oh, God! Outta the way!"
Willow made a dash to the bathroom. Buffy closed her eyes again as the pounding in her head grew from Willow's moving the bed.
Oz went to look on his girl. "You okay, honey?"
"What did Willow mean that it was more than just drinks?" Giles frowned. Buffy winced at the inquisitive note in her Watcher's voice. "Buffy?" "Giles, just go away and let me die in peace," Buffy whispered. Giles frowned.
"You will not die because of a little case of an upset stomach. You are the Slayer. The Chosen One."
"Pretty soon Ill be the Dead One if this pounding in my head doesn't stop," Buffy whispered. Then she opened one eye at her Watcher. "And *you'll* be a dead Watcher if you keep on shouting."
"I am not shouting," Giles said gently. "I am merely talking. How could you be sick? Your recuperative powers alone-"
Cordelia moaned in agony. "Just shoot us. Hell, shoot him! Shut him up Buffy! I can't stand this pain anymore...Ohh..my head!"
Xander looked at his girl, then at Buffy. "Anybody else feel like yakking?"
"Xander, love you, but leave before I kick your ass," Cordelia groaned. Then she shot up when her stomach heaved violently. "Move!"
Buffy groaned at the bouncing of the bed as Cordy made a mad dash towards the other bathroom, with Xander at her heels. She felt someone's cool hand on her forehead. "Buffy, stay in bed. The boys and I shall patrol tonight."
Buffy groaned in agreement. Giles then looked at his watch. It was almost sundown. "If I hadn't known better, I would say that you girls are suffering from a vile hang over."
"But we're not," Buffy said as quickly as she could. "I mean, would a hang over last this long if we had one?"
Giles shrugged. "Sometimes. Depends on when the drinking stopped and what the person was eating. I've had one that lasted several hours...Buffy, you haven't been-"
"Gotta go, Giles," Buffy shouted as she made a dash to her Mom's bathroom, and to relative safety.
*****
"So where should we head out tonight,love? To the waterfront?" Drucilla asked Spike brightly as she rolled out the door with him. "Or shall we go out to hunt?"
"Dont think that would be too easy with, Spikey boy,Dru," Angel said snidely. "But do as you will. I know that I will."
"And where are you off to now," Spike drawled. "Not that I really care, mind you. I just want you to watch out for that Slayer and her gal pals. They're a real...determined bunch of ladies when they want to be. Around certain people. And *things*."
"I can handle them and their...misguided desires," Angel said stiffly. "Be sure of it."
"Like you did last night? With both of you tied up?" Drucilla said innocently. The two male vampires stared at her as she smiled smugly at them, and shook her head. "What would you boys do without Mummy coming out to scare the nasty Slayer and her friends from our happy home? Where should we go tonight?"
*****
"That's the last time I'm having the Super Deluxe Pineapple Special or Total Supreme Stuffed," Buffy moaned. "It'll just be the Pineapple Special for me."
"Yeah, just the plain Pineapple Special, with extra olives," Willow moaned in agreement. Cordelia just moaned. "You alive there, Cordy?"
"Barely. Tell God to just kill me now," she moaned. Buffy grinned with her eyes closed.
"What a way to get out of patroling," Buffy whispered. She inched her head a certain angle on her pillow, and sighed. That eased up the pounding a bit. "Hope there's not too much trouble tonight. Then again, it's Saturday."
*****
Giles sighed as he walked around the graveyard with the boys. He'd rather be home with a good book and a cup of hot tea. "Well, so far no vampires here."
"Yeah," Xander said glumly. "No action here at all."
"And that's a good thing, right?" Oz offered. "I mean, no vamps are good."
"Good, but BOR-ing," Xander grumbled. "I can't believe, of all days, the girls have to have some stomach flu on a *Saturday*! Jeez, timing off much?"
"I sincerely doubt that the girls planned this," Giles said paitently. "Buffy hates staying in on a Saturday as much as she hates patrolling, if not more so. In conclus-"
"Hey! Isn't that a vamp there?" Xander said desperately as he pointed to a figure in the slight distance. Anything to stop a Giles speech.
Oz peered into the darkness. "Hey! Isn't that Angel? But who's the dude in the wheelchair?"
"I don't know," Giles said. "I think that-"
"Follow him!" Xander shouted as he broke into a sprint. Oz quickly followed, leaving Giles behind. He stared at the two running boys, and then ran after them.
*****
"What the...aw hell, it's the dweeb patrol," Angel grumbled as he noticed three figures running towards him. "Just what I need."
Spike looked at the approaching figures, and grinned. "So then ditch them as best as you can, Angellus. Or can't you handle three mortal men?"
"Screw you,Spike," Angel growled. "I can handle them."
Inwardly, he smiled with glee at the situation. Spike scratched his chin, and looked at him doubtfully. "I dunno, Angel. You were taken out by girls last night..."
"And so were you, Spike," Angel growled as he disappeared in the darkness. "Just watch me take these dweebs on..."
Spike smiled brightly as he rolled himself towards the waterfront and Dru. With any luck, Angel would be gone all night to prove his prowess. Maybe kill the Watcher and his friends, too. A frown crossed his face,though he personally hoped that Angel wouldn't kill the Slayer. He wanted to do that.
*****
Angel growled angrily as he went through the back alleys, weaving in and out of the shadows. He heard the idiot Xander shout something to the Watcher, and sped faster.
Now that he had time to think, he was pissed off at the whole goddamned deal. Spike was with Dru and he was being chased by three dweebs not worth feeding on. Quickly, he ducked into an open door, and then clanged it shut.
Panting, Xander stopped to look where he was. It was dark, dank and smelly. Oz came to a stop with Giles next to him, both folding over to catch their breaths.
"So where is he?"
"I dunno. Heard a clanging. Must've went through a door," Xander panted. He looked into the darkness and saw that all the alley doors were shut. "Guess that we should try to go through one of 'em."
"That one," Oz pointed, then shrugged at the inquisitive looks. "Looks as good as any other."
"Wait. Let me use your cel, Oz," Giles panted. "Tell Buffy where we are. Maybe a trap."
Oz nodded and handed him the cel. Giles spoke tersely. "Buffy? Still sick? We're chasing Angel by the waterfront. Hopefully it's not. Let you know. 'Bye. Let's go, shall we?"
Xander and Giles went to the door that Oz pointed to, and opened it. The three entered the building cautiously.
*****
"Where the HELL have you been?" the little man shouted at Angel. "We have a show to do! And on this night! Where's the rest of the crew? We have a show to put on!"
Angel looked at the man blankly, and then smiled evilly. "They're right behind me.I'll just-"
"NO!" the little man shouted again as Angel tried to move. "Have you got your make-up on? Yes, I see that you have, but what's those ridges? Is that part of the show? Never mind, I don't want to know. Now where's your crew- There you are!"
Giles, Xander and Oz looked around to see who the little man was talking to. Impatiently, he dragged Angel towards them. "Is this you crew? Of course it is! Come on, come on! We have a show to do!"
The little man started to shove them back. Giles looked at the little man blankly. "Show?"
"What show?" Xander squeaked. "I wasn't told about some show!"
The little man shoved at Xander and Oz impatiently backwards.He caught Angel ashe was trying to move the wrong direction, and shoved him onto Giles."You know that there's a private show tonight! It's for the Alpha Omega Zeta Sorority Reunion! And what the customer wants, they get! The Strutting Toms always delivers!"
"Strutting Tom!" Oz squeaked as the little man gave the four a final shove. "Oh God!"
"What's the Strutting Toms?" Giles asked curiously as he got up. Angel also got up, and then the name caught him. "Strutting Toms? We're here?!?"
"Oh, God, no!" Xander moaned. "We gotta get outta here!"
Giles looked at the ashen faces of Angel and his young friends. "What's the Strutting Toms?"
Suddenly, lights flooded the four on stage. Angel growled at the bright light as the others raised their arms. Giles then noticed the audience. They were all female, of all ages and different attires. All of them were giving wolf whistles and catcalls. Giles's eyes grew wide as Oz answered. "It's Sunnydale's very own Chippendales."
"Oh dear..."
****
"Why don't we put on some soothing music?" Willow asked as she inched over to Buffy's radio. Buffy and Cordelia merely groaned, then smiled as the soft violins filled the room.
Then the radio stopped. "In late breaking news, there is a small fire on the waterfront. Firemen are now on their way-"
"Giles!" Buffy shouted as she shot up from the bed. Then her stomach started to heave, but she took a deep breath to control it. Willow looked at her friend the Slayer, and groaned.
"Want me to come help?" she offered weakly.
Buffy stomach rolled, but she smiled weakly. "I'll handle it. Pray that everything's all right."
Willow nodded as best she could. The little man in her head was still pounding with that sledgehammer at her brain. Buffy left the room, grabbing anything that would help keep her head up.
*****
A woman announcer got on the stage, covering the cowering men in her shadow. "And here now , ladies of the Alpha Omega Zetas...is our proud Strutting Tom's other revealing presentation: Saturday Night School Daze!"
Giless eyes widened in horror as he heard the rousing music of the Bay City Roller's 'Saturday Night'.
"Well! Dance!" hissed the female announcer. "Get out there on that catwalk and dance! Strip! Strut your stuff!"
"I don't have anything to strip!" Xander said in a high pitched voice. "I LIKE my clothes!"
The announcer grabbed Angel and Giles and started shoving them down towards the cat walk as Giles started, "There is some mistake-"
"I'll say there's been some mistake," she hissed. "If you boys are going all shy on us, I'm gonna kill your manager! Especially when over half this crowd is rowdy and drunk! Luis! Get the other two!"
Oz and Xander yelped as a bouncer came on stage and grabbed them before they could escape. The announcer smiled brightly at the audience."Seems they want a little help! Come on, Zeta girls, let' show these men what we want to see! Let's dance and strip 'em!"
*****
Spike sat at the docks, watching the water and people go back and forth. He saw fire truck activity at the other end of the dock, but dismissed it. Drucilla went the other way to hunt, so she wasn't anywhere near there. And he barely noticed the loud people and music that was pouring out of the club nearby. < What kind of name is the Strutting Toms? > he thought absently as he waited for Drucilla to show up after her small hunt.
*****
Giles looked in horror as a giggling forty-ish matron grabbed Angel and started dancing suggestively with him. He was even more horrified when the announcer shoved him towards a girl a little older than Buffy. He looked wildly at Oz and Xander.
"Oh my God!" Xander choked as he pointed towards the woman dancing with Angel."That's Harmony's mom! And *that's* Cordelia's cousin!"
The bouncer Luis then shoved Xander and Oz towards two approaching women. "Enjoy yourselves fellas!"
"Hey!" Angel said, a little shocked at the woman that was grabbing at his clothes, trying to strip him. "I don't think-"
"You don't have to think, honey," the woman leered as she pulled on Angel's coat. Another woman came up from behind him, and pulled on his silk shirt. "Just relax and enjoy..."
"I beg your pardon!" Giles shouted when the girl he was with started to rub her hands on his chest and bringing her pelvis closer to his.
"Ooooh, an accent! Brittish!" she giggled as she tugged on Giles's tie. "Cool!"
"You don't understand! I'm too young for this!" Xander shouted as a woman about his mom's age started to squeeze his butt. He jumped into the arms of the other woman.
"Ooooh, wild! Purple hair! What's the real color?" giggled a college girl as she stroked Oz's head. The other woman sandwiched on Oz's other side, patted his fanny. "Want to show us?"
*****
Buffy had reached the waterfront, and spoke to some of the firemen. Sure, it was under control, just as she got there. Great. Best news, no Giles or Xander or Oz. Now for bed, a nice soft bed. She bumped into something. The impact made her stomach roll again. She looked down at the guy in the wheelchair. "Sorry."
"Slayer?!?"
Buffy groaned as she recognized that accented voice. Then she looked closely at the blonde in the wheelchair, and groaned. "Spike."
"What are you doing here?" he gritted out. Buffy controlled her starting to heave stomach.
"Getting some fresh air. Trying to stake vamps. Usual hi-jinks," Buffy quipped. "Why are you here? Causing trouble?"
"Not as much as I would like to," Spike gritted out. "Thanks to you."
Buffy shrugged, causing the pounding in her head to grow and her stomach to unsettle more. "Hey, no problem. Look if you wanna fight, let's. If not, leave 'cause I ain't feeling too kosher."
Spike was about to retort when he heard a scream. He saw Drucilla racing towards them., her small hands in claws. Buffy quickly turned to the source of the screaming, her head spun at the movement, her eyes widened, her mouth opened and the contents of her stomach went out flying.
"Arrggh!" Drucilla shook as she looked at herself. She was covered with the contents from the Slayer's stomach. Buffy looked at her wide-eyed,her hand to her mouth. Spike stared at Drucilla, then at the Slayer, to Drucilla again. Drucilla started towards the Slayer again, and the contents of the Slayer's stomach went out flying again. This time barely missing her.
Drucilla's mouth began to tremble as she looked at what the Slayer did to her pretty dress. Spike looked at Drucilla and recognized the signs of her going into a tantrum. "Go home and change, Dru. I'll take care of the Slayer."
Drucilla nodded and left the two. Spike cocked an eyebrow at the Slayer, who had collapsed to her knees the moment Drucilla was out of sight. He rolled over to her. "That wasn't very dignified, Slayer. Losing your supper on your enemies."
Buffy didn't even lift her head. "Just kill me now and be done with it. My head is pounding and I feel sick..."
Spike quelched an urge to smile. "That's what you get for drinking so much...."
"It wasn't much!" Buffy protested weakly as she sat and put her head between her knees. "It was only wine coolers! It said they don't have much alcohol!"
"It still packs a wallop when you have a bunch of them," Spike said sympathetically." Same effect, Slayer. A hang over the next day. So how was the drinking party?"
Buffy moaned as she leaned against the wheel of Spike's chair. "I'm never gonna do it again. Just kill me now."
*****
Grabbing the woman's hands in front of him, Angel was about to push her over the catwalk when he yelped as the woman behind him pinched his ass. Then as she puther hands at his belt, Angel swiveled his hips to dissuade her. He growled as he earned several more whistles at this action.
"Madam!" Giles shouted as the young girl tried to grind her hips closer to his. Then he felt another pair of hands roaming around his chest, and someone nibbling at his ear. His head turned, and his eyes widened as the woman from behind him kissed him deeply.
"Arrgh!" Xander gritted out as he fought with a girl who was trying to pull down his jeans. The one behind him was trying to pull off his shirt from behind.
Oz looked wildly around him as he tried to escape from the three woman that were hunting him He feinted right, then left, and then ran down the middle...and into the arms of another woman who caught his mouth and gave him a deep kiss. He squeaked when he felt a pair of hands going towards his zipper.
*****
Spike chuckled when the Slayer moaned. Buffy lifted her head enough to eyehim malevoently. "What's so funny?"
"You. Having a hang over," Spike answered simply. He caught the look in her eye, and grinned hugely. [Damn, for a Slayer, she's cute!] "Nature's lesson of punishing for those who goes drinking to excess."
"Please! I can do without!" Buffy grimaced at him. Then narrowed her eyes at him. "How did you know that I was drinking last night?"
"You mean that you don't remember?" Spike smiled hugely, then laughed out loud. "Now *that's* what I'm callin' justice, especially after what you and your gal pals did last night."
"Whatd I do?" Buffy asked belligerently as she stood. Spike smiled wickedly. "What *didn't* you do?"
*****
Angel felt his silk shirt rip, and his pants start to fall down as he held a pair of hands away from his chest. < Oh, shit! Not here! > He heard women whistle whenhis pants fell to his knees.
Giles yelped as he felt a someone pinch his arse, making him jump into the arms of the girl in front of him. She caught him, and then started pulling at his belt as his shirt was unbuttoned by a pair of hands from behind.
Xander was losing the battle with the woman that was pulling his pants down....
The woman managed to pull off Oz's shirt before he broke free and ran towards an exit and spied the fire alarm...
*****
Buffy stared at Spike, who was still grinning at her. "What? You mean that you don't remember coming into my home and lap dance for me? Give me a nice-sized hickey? Strip to your birthday suit for me?"
Buffy stared at him, horrified. Spike continued happily. "Then offer to give me a ride for my life? And then offering to kiss every part of my body well? Then demanding imperiously to see my thing?"
"Oh, God," Buffy squeaked as she sank to the ground. "I don't...I can't..."
"Remember? Well, it was some night, Slayer," Spike laughed. He noticed the look of horror stuck on the Slayer's face, and smiled widely. "It really was..."
Buffy buried her head on her knees and started to cry. "I don't remember..."
After a few moments, Spike relented enough to stroke her head. Pity was, he liked the Slayer, for an enemy, she entertained him as much as she annoyed him. And, for the past few days, she had boosted up his ego while crushing Angel's, which was a really great feeling. < So, I owe her the truth, at least. > Spike thought. < Also, what the hell is it about me remembering what it was like when *I* was seventeen? > "Well, perk up, Slayer, 'cause I don't remember most of it either!"
"What?" Buffy sobbed as her tear-laden face looked up at him hopefully. Spike's gentleman cold heart melted at the sight of the Slayer's tear ridden face. He sighed. < Never could stand a lady crying. >he thought as he gave the Slayer a handkerchief.
"I lied, Slayer. With the exception of your wanting to see my thing with your pals, none of it happened," Spike sighed. Buffy looked at him puzzled. "Really."
"Why-"
"Because I can't stand to see a girl cry," Spike said as he shifted uncomfortably. "Now let this be a lesson to you, and don't drink any more."
Buffy looked at him with huge eyes as Spike continued. "And if you drink a onecup mixture of half tomato juice and water, with lots of tobasco, salt and pepper, it should get rid of your hang over."
She was still looking at him with huge eyes, Spike thought. Then his breath caught when she smiled brightly at him like he was her hero. Like Drucilla used to do before Angellus came to live with them. His hand reached over to gently stroke her face....Buffy craned her neck higher to meet his touch...
Then they both heard it. A fire alarm. From the nearest club. Buffy quickly got up, causing her stomach to heave again. She covered her hand over her stomach as Spike looked at her sympathetically, and moved out of firing range.
Angel ran out of Strutting Toms first, and saw his former lover standing by a familiar figure in a wheel chair. "Buffy!"
Giles, Xander and Oz ran out of the door, looking for a place to hide and dress. Giles's head shot up when he heard Angel roar out the Slayer's name, and raced towards the menacing, nearly naked figure.
Buffy's and Spike's eyes grew huge as they saw an Angel dressed only in his shoes and underwear approach them. "Buffy! You little bitch! You planned this! And you Spike! I wouldn't put it past you that you were in on this!"
"Plan what? What are you talking about?" Buffy managed to get out, though her stomach was rolling. Spike noticed the signs and saw that his sire was in the line of fire, and kept his mouth shut.
Angel waved his hands around him furiously. "My getting caught in Strutting Toms with your Watcher and dweebs! Being stripped and manhandled by two women who were my mother's age! All of it!"
Buffy's eyes widened. "YOU were caught in Strutting Toms?!? And so was GILES?!?"
"Don't think that I don't know that you planned this!" Angel fumed. Buffy narrowed her eyes at him as she stomach rolled again.
"Please! Like every waking thought is supposed to be dedicated to you. Puh-lease!" she scoffed. Spike grinned as he noticed the Slayer's face turn greener, a fact that Angel had yet to notice. He looked at his almost naked sire, and decided to warn him.
"Uh, Angel. You might not want to stand there," Spike started. Angel cut him off.
"Shut up, Sit-and-Spin! I'll get to you later! Yeah, you want a piece of Buffy, and I know it, you know it, the world knows it! Even if you were overheard that you want tobe screwed by Roller Boy here, you still want a piece of me!"
Buffy looked at him furiously. "You are *such* a conceited brat! Why the *hell* should I want you when Spike here is at least ten times better than you, and that's only after talking to him for about five minutes!"
"What?" Angel roared and approached Buffy furiously. Buffy opened her mouth to say a scathing retort when the contents of her stomach heaved out again. And on to Angel's naked chest.
He looked down in horror, then at Buffy. Spike coughed. "I *told* you to move!"
Angel stared at Spike then at Buffy, who was covering her mouth with her hand. He approached her again, and barely had time to jump away when she let loose again. Spike rested head against his hand as he spoke, "Better go now, Angel She has pretty good aim if you remember."
"Buffy!" Buffy turned to see who called her. Then her eyes widened as she saw the men of the Scooby gang dressed only in their underwear. Spike choked back a laugh. "Buffy! What are you doing out of bed?"
"Giles! You're...you're...." Buffy started, then covered her eyes. Giles looked down, puzzled, then horrified. He was shirtless and barely in his pants!
Spike discreetly looked away as the Watcher pulled in his pants, the purple haired boy put on his pants and the black haired boy hold his up. He looked at his sire, who was looking for something to wipe himself with. "Are we all dressed now?"
Angel growled at Spike, and Buffy's head shot up. A mistake in her estimation, because her stomach started to roll again. Angel saw her face, and backed up a step. Then she threw her head down, and emptied her stomach as Spike rubbed her back. When she was done, he handed her another handkerchief, which she took gratefully.
"Thanks," Bufy whispered to him. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wheel of his chair as she moaned. "I want to die, I feel sooo sick..."
Spike stifled a laugh. "It's not that bad, Slayer. You'll get better, you'll see. Soon you'll be fighting with me in no time..."
Buffy looked up at him with wide eyes. "Promise?"
"Promise," Spike said with a wink of his eye as he stroked her cheek. Angellus saw this interaction and then growled. HE was being ignored here. Spike knew this and gave his sire a smirk.
"I suggest that we all go home now, and fight another night," Spike said as he cleared his throat. "And forget about this whole debacle."
"And why should we do that Roller Boy?" Angel growled. He looked at Buffy, then the Watcher and their friends with barely concealed menace.
"Why should we let you or Over-bite here go?" Xander said menacingly as he could while holding up his pants. Spike cocked an eyebrow at him.
"Other than you not having any weapons? As I see it, there's a stalemate here. Angel, the Slayer will...lose her supper on you again if you come closer," Spike continued as Angel stepped back again. "Watcher and company, you can become the laughing stock of the vampire set if this ever leaks out. Chasing a vampire to a strip joint and becoming the main attraction at the place. No one'll take you seriously, think about it."
Spike looked at Angel. "And you, how would you feel if it was added that the Slayer threw up on you? After she had seen your performance at the strip club?"
"She wasn't there."
"But how do you know?" Spike persisted. "Rumours have a way of appearing..."
"We'll accept. Stalemate," Giles said stiffly. "Let us all go."
Giles turned away, and Angel went to Spike's side. Buffy looked warily at him, then ignored his presence. Buffy looked at Spike. "Want me to take you home?"
Spike shook his head. "Nah. Wouldn't do if I consort with the enemy. See you on opposite sides, Slayer. And don't forget to take that mixture for your ailment."
Buffy smiled at him, then impulsively kissed him on the nose. "Later, Spike. Get better fast so that I can stake you. Come on guys, let's go home."
Spike smiled as he heard the black haired one ask, "You're not going to yak, are you?"
"Not yet. So how was the club?"
The End....?
Sorry for a gross ending, but I *really* hate Angellus and Drucilla...